2013 CX worlds in Louisville KY

Sign at the Airport in Loo'vul


Cool kids in fresh boots

Wednesday.
 Course conditions: Mostly flat. Two steep (muddy) run-ups one after another the second had stairs. Soupy. Muddy. Sloppy. Chilly. 45 degrees Result: 19th

  The course: Rain delayed the initial start times for 2 hours. (who delays cx for rain?!!!) The five earlier races turned the already wet field punctuated with shallow ponds of standing water, into a continuous mudfest. Long stretches of unabated bog-track were interrupted by periodic but brief rollers topped with shadows of what was previously grass. The slick muck turned what would have been a simple ride-over set of low double stairs at the top of an S-turn, into a treacherous centrifugal force problem and side-ways slip-n-slide. The two extended run-ups demanded that each step involve jabbing one’s toe violently into the side of the hill for purchase. The two descents were appropriately harrowing. One was a wide off-camber S-turn, terminating into a drainage ditch with half a foot of standing murky water. The second was a mild bending screamer back through the draining ditch of standing icy water. The two run-ups were connected along a high straight section that counter-intuitively, turned out to be the deepest, muddiest part of the course. Some chose to run the entire section instead of turning the ridiculously sluggish gears of insanity.

 
After the barriers on the first lap still clean as a cucumber.....

The race: The field was divided into three elimination heats, run sequentially. By random draw I landed on the back row of the second heat with bib #95. As the fifth overall race of the day, the churned course was a frothy chocolate delicious mess. The start was the fastest part of the race; and then we hit the first standing pool of water on top of mud. Individually and collectively, the pack yawed crazily, everyone hemming & hawing in multiple directions. When I glanced back on the first turn I had managed to hit the uber-selective lantern-rouge reverse-hole-shot. I was DFL into the constriction. It was even more tragic due to the truncated 2-lap format. I would like to say I was "settling into a groove" on the second and final lap but really I was really settling into a cycle of abuse. For inspiration during the kick-step run up, I imagined I was kicking the course in its filthy taint with angry disdain. I felt I had a decent kick-step technique, doing some imaginary grundle damage, but then, the course kicked me. I performed a cartoon-like mid-run endo onto my face. How does one endo while running uphill, while pushing a bike? My hands didn't leave the bars until I had buried my face in the side of the hill. The monotonous, soul-sucking, slow, mud-crawling, constant-power, no-rest-anywhere played to all my weakness. All work no play makes Luke a dull boy. And it showed. I finished 19th, squeaking into the top 25 which was the cut-off for qualifying for the finals.


 
Walking toward the finish line after the race. . 

Friday:
Course conditions: Same course, but not really. Conditions: Soupy. Frozen. Muddy. Crusty. Sloppy AND icy. Rutted. Unforgiving. Bike-killing. Under 20 degrees. Result: 55th

 The course: Strangely, part of the course was slow, tricky, bouncy, deeply latticed, heavily rutted, & frozen sold, but much of the course was slow, sticky, muddy, sloppy, mucky, & generally similar to wednesdays conditions. The odd bit is the fact that the two parts ran concurrently & parallel, next to each-other. This made the transition between the two, (especially into and out of corners) delightfully comical. The other pleasant surprise, unlike wednesday, is the speed at which the muck froze unyieldingly onto the frame, spokes, brakes, shifters, & one's will to live. The top finishers pitted every half lap. I overheard that at least one of the top three brought four bikes and a full pit-crew. I brought an extra bike but due to UCI regulations, Shane wasn't issued a "pit-pass" because she's not a UCI US Cycling license holder. Wednesday's mud didn't stick, but Friday's mud was a different animal.

 
colder & colder

  The Race: With a longer format, I like to pretend I get stronger over time. I'm not that much stronger over time. Earning bib #56, I rolled into the middle of the pack. The start played out similarly to Wednesday except that I was in the middle of the sideways shimmy-slide into the first standing pool of water-on-mud. I managed to hold position but this time the ice-mud wanted to ride along. On everything. Most racers handed their mud-beasts off to their pit crew at the first chance of a fresh ride. I figured I'd need to go 2 laps before I could switch. After a lap & a half I was just outside of the top 30, but without a front brake, or functioning derailleurs, or any residual joy. The Fuji had gained a significant amount of winter-weight in frozen mud and sadness. For the first time in my CX career, I rolled into the pit for a bike exchange and in my bleary-eyed, dull-brained haste, rolled out the wrong side going the opposite direction. I corrected, rolled back through the pit of despair, and chased down as many lost places as I could but the leaders chased me down from behind well before the final lap. I didn't even make the penultimate lap and enjoyed my first ignominious "you-got-pulled" experience. Only 25 finished the final lap. At 16th, Kris Auer [the speedy b*st*rd that (easily) kept me off the top spot at Ed Sanders this year] was the highest placing MABRA racer. His team-mate and my other mabra nemesis (although I doubt he knows it), Joe Lillibridge finished within reach of my cold-dead fingers.

  Observations: Colorado and specifically Boulder is King of CX. Although a solo feller from Nebraska took the top spot, Colorado brought 12 racers, 7 were in the top 12. 30 states plus Spain, Canada and DC were represented in my field. AZ, SC, & KY failed to qualify for the finals. Spain nabbed 4th. Canada clipped 9th I expected that the race would attract a lot of semi-local big-fish-in-a-little-pond Midwesternappalachiasoutherners (I’m still vague about Kentucky’s exact location) but I was surprised at how far away folks traveled. Since I’m from Texas, my geography is terrible. I didn’t know the 7 states that border Kentucky: Tennesse, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, West Virginia, and Virginia. Less than a third in my field were from these states.

 
WHERES THE DERAILLER? 
 

Lessons: 1) A pit crew can make a huge difference when conditions are muddy AND frozen. Except for a few flats, I’ve never been in a race that demanded real help in the pits. 2) My expectations were a too high. Taking a three-week eating tour across Texas over the holidays didn’t help my cause but I'm also not as fast as I think.

  Extra Special Thanks:
 Brook Edinger for letting me borrow his bike.
 El Knightsberry for lending me (and Tony) each a set of really nice wheels/tires.

  Pro Race on Saturday: This is really why we traveled. The pro races were a separate category of beautiful cycling. The Dutch and Belgium teams put on a clinic of unabashed technical prowess. In all races (Juniors, Women’s, under 21 and pros). Shane & I volunteered at a crossing point for the first two races of the morning (Juniors and Women’s) and I was surprised at how many folks from the DC area made the trip. The UCI was hoping for 4,000 fans. The venue got 8,000 screaming fanatics. From the leaders all the way to the back of the pack, we (the fans) were screaming our faces off. American fans showed up in force and brought their drunken A-game. As an example; at the rear of the pro race was a single Australian racer being chased by a single New Zealander. As each went by shouts of “AUSSIE!!! AUSSIE!!! AUSSIE!!! AUSSIE!!! AUSSIE!!!YEEEAAAHHHH” were quickly followed by “KIWI!!! KIWI!!! KIWI!!! KIWI!!! KIWI!!!GOOOOO!!!!”

 
One of the American racers slogging along for the fans.

From what saw and later read, the European fans and press were duly impressed with the end result despite some financial & scheduling hiccoughs along the way. Financial: apparently they ran out of money a month before the race. Scheduling: The Sunday finals had to be moved to Saturday due the encroaching flooding river next to the venue.

 
Rising river next to the race venue.

Tour of Page County Criterium Race Report

Team:
Nick Bradford
Mike Brindza
Andre “Gravy-Please” Gondouin
Nick “Mo-gravy” Steber
Andrew “Show-me-the-gravy” Shoaff
Dennis “Fruit-cup, hold the gravy” Turbeville
Chris “Dough-boy” Dougherty
Matt “Endo” Rosier

The circuit was definitely challenging due to the significant climb up main street coupled with the extra hot weather. The previous day’s road race also took its toll (on at least one face). The caloric grease bomb breakfast of potatos, bacon, ham & eggs topped with sausage/chipped-beef gravy that Andre, Steber & Sho-off sho-nuff wolfed down beforehand at the local diner, may have also contributed to its difficulty. Despite his dainty fruit cup, Turbo still suffered gastro issues just watching the Hawksbill Diner Gravy Train Trio at their showdown in the trough.

Re: Luray
At least one credible source has ranked the Criterium at Luray the 2nd most difficult of 18 local crits. Described as:
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Attricious : a. Having a high attrition factor b. chaff dispenser c. Any race that sheds over half its field synonym: assplosion

This…hill…will….eat…your…..soul. While it’s short, it’s steep, like 12% steep, like who-tha-f&ck-puts-a-hill-like-this-in-a-crit steep. Not only will this race shed half the field from contention, it will do so by lap two. Bring an extra diaper; you’re going to need it.
_______________________

Similar to Reston, the eight turns were wide enough to be railed sans brakes. The utter lack of any corner-carnage was due more to the winnowing of the field on each lap rather than flowing corners. Even the usual sketchy suspects didn’t create any havoc. After a couple of up-tempo hot laps, a few hopefuls gapped the field on the hill in an effort to escape. They were never out of sight for long, inevitably getting caught on the ensuing lap weaving up the hill looking the opposite of strong. Cirque Du Soleil Rosier, Dough-boy & Matt Nowak all spent time in front chasing down the overly optimistic flyers. This kept the field working to keep up and as a result, with five laps to go, we were down to seventeen in the main pack. On the penultimate lap, we were down to eleven. The final sprint felt like a slow motion affair at first and positioning was not a problem on the wide avenue leading up to the finish. Tony Barsi (WWVC) started early and held the momentum to win, dragging Nowak (Gripped Racing) along behind him. Dough-boy, Rosier and I ramped up halfway up the hill, working our way past the dying pack but couldn’t close the gap on the top four. We were still accelerating as we crossed, finishing 8th, 6th & 5th respectively. We also finished 2nd, 10th & 4th respectively in the Omnium points standings. With their upgrades soon to be pending, I have no doubt Rosier & Dough-boy will be tough contenders in the next category and I have thoroughly enjoyed racing with them this year.

Clarendon Cup Crystal City Criterium 2011

I'm burned & crispy to the bone from this weekend: Clarendon cup + Air Force Classic 100K + Crystal crit = couch time

I got shelled at the Clarendon cup and I crashed in the 100K on sunday morning (I was half-wheeling DC Velo Harry who zigged to avoid a woman who zagged & I bounced). Vday Danny behind me claims he got it on video so I'll post it, along w/ some cherry pics of my strawberry ground-beef *ss.

After the race I had a beer and buffalo burger with Brook & Tony then rode back to Falls church to feel out my legs. Even soft-pedaling, I felt terrible. Just awful. Woozy, headache boo-hoo, wah-wah *sniffle sniffle* pout, poor me.
But I'm cheap and I paid $45 to race... So I left the house at 2 for the 2:30 start thinking I would let fate decide whether I’d get there in time (my subconscious had already decided I’d be drinking another couple of beers w/in the hour).

Fate smiled-on (or snarled-at) me since the ladies race ran long and our race was delayed a few minutes. After scrambling around getting everything pinned, pooped, popped & filled I rolled up at the very back of the start. Late, but just in time. I wanted to poke my middle finger in fates eye-socket.

Right from the start, things were sketchy and I clung onto the back by my fingernails. The 8 corner crit quickly devolved into a crashtacular crashfestival of crashy crashness in crashingtonion proportions. I've never seen anything like it. Second lap, second turn: on my front wheel a multiple person pile-up (I overheard someone say 20) followed immediately in the next turn by a dude doing a cirque de soleil style, hand stand flip, over on top of the barriers. Again, it was on my front wheel & as I locked it up I expected to get crushed from behind by the two guys that were further back than me. The tattered field was spread single file thin all over the course. Luckily for those of us tailgunning in the breeze, they stopped the race while the ambulance swept up the metal & flesh, flotsam & jetsam. After standing for 10-15 minutes in the breezeless, stagnant, oppressive, sweaty heat, we restarted and I got to witness two MORE separate crashes in turn 2. Two MORE NCVC'rs (Andy & Mikerr) were crashed into later in turn 2 and 6 respectively. Surprisingly, I felt better with each lap as the double shot caffeinated my brain and lied to me about my condition. I jumped up near the front with 8 laps to go and felt like I might actually be a contender. With 6 laps to go, I super-cramped just at the turn 2 of destruction and pulled myself lest I pile up some more bodies.

overall, I call it a win and feel good about it.
yaaaaaay....

on the other hand, I'm done with riding for at least another 22 hours. Perhaps the Tue noon ride might be an option.

put some jelly on me, I'm toast

Greenbrier MTB Race Report 2011

The 11:30am Cat 2 race went out under perfect weather conditions. The trail had
a few boggy sections left over from earlier rains but most of it was fast and
dryish. From the gun, the tempo was spirited in each age group. In the 40-45
group, B. Teller, D. Stealy (my fellow roadie cross-over) and I watched Alex
Mata (Evolution) & friends set a silly quick pace up the initial rise and
sustain it through the first lap. Working through the 35-39 group ahead, I
found Brian racing right side-up but Stefan racing in the kneeling position on
the side of the trail nursing various mechanical issues. I estimate he spent at
least 25 minutes tinkering instead of spinning. On the final lap, I found
George Lowe (I think...by then my brain was extra hurty and my mouth tasted like
poop) spinning out a steady pace. The three riders w/ me latched onto his wheel
and I watched as steady George pulled all of them away from me, and onto the
(40-45) podium. George also rolled onto the podium in the 35-39 group. Post
race, Paul (NCVCs only rep in the 45-49), David Jones and Alan (both top ten
finishers in the 50+) all agreed that the course was challenging. Everyone
finished w/ a layer of the trail mud highlighting the periodic muddy spots. As
a testament to the wheels in the 40-45 group, Ben Teller's 11th place finishing
time would have earned him third in the 30-35 & 6th (just behind George) in the
35-39. Kudos to dirt-convert Dave Stealy for riding in right behind Ben and
Lancaster for identifying the owner of the unclaimed post-race shorts by the
sniff test.

This was my first experience with enjoying the benefits of reserved NCVC parking
& Tent accommodations. Its the best way to race. We took a team picture
post-race but unfortunately our only podium finisher, George, was not there as
he was supporting his wife Rebecca in her race.

Apologies if I mangled details/names/events.
Special thanks to Ben for the lift to and from and Alan for toting the tent. I
look forward to racing w/ all again.

Race Report Vint Hills & Luray

These two courses lacked the smooth flow of previous Mabra races & were reminiscent of Mt biking before suspension. The uneven surfaces made it challenging to keep a consistent cadence anywhere on the course. Hidden holes, rocks & other bulging or sunken grassy surprises injected periodic moments of terrifying laterally moving excitement into the entrance into or exit out-of turns.
Luray kindly included an entire downhill of off-camber switchbacks covered in a conveyor-belt of acorns, giving both wheels the freedom to roll simultaneously forward & sideways without technically sliding. With more vertical feet of climbing than all the previous local courses (seemingly combined), it was more of a pure power course. They both favored a "light" rider able to float over the saddle and keep a light grip on the handlebars (otherwise the ride turned into a pugilistic slug-fest featuring Saddle v Taint).
Vint hills put together a course with enough elevation & surface changes to keep if from feeling repetitive. The start was a long open double track runway onto a loose gravel section, through the hole-shot of two very steep, tight off-camber turns. Incredibly on an otherwise dusty dry course, they found a section of mud to suck any residual momentum leading into the misleadingly sustained uphill section. Even the series of 180-degree turns had enough topography changes to avoid feeling gratuitous. After commiserating with stronger output riders Rich & Sachanda, I think the course favored a mt biking background.
I rolled up late to the start of the 3/4 35+ race, and started penultimate to DFL. I chatted with Will Wong who, in his first season of CX, was also relegated to the back, one row ahead of me. I managed to survive through the middle of the pack in the hole shot but plaudits to Will, who I didn’t catch until late in the first lap. He was surfing comfortably within site of the top five riders. I hopped from the 5th wheel to the 4th wheel and finally to the two leaders without bringing anyone with me. I led through the final lap to keep the three of us ahead of the chasers. At the barriers, I relinquished the lead hoping to recover enough to snipe the sprint in end. I quickly remembered I was not a sprinter as they jostled for 1st & 2nd while I trailed in their wake for 3rd, happy with my best finish to date.
The next 3/4 race was a blur of survival with a side of puke-breath. I had no illusions of hanging onto the lead group in a race of chipper young guns. I was happy to give up a second row spot to a fresh team mate at the start and was happier to cross the finish line at the end sans a technicolor yawn.
Sundays race in Luray deviated from the Mabra category fields. With stand-alone cat 4 and cat 3 fields, I pre-empted my pending upgrade and jumped into the cat 3 race as the only NCVC representative. I had initial (ridiculous) aspirations of duplicating if not improving on my Vint Hills result. Because I suffer cat 4 delusions of cat 3 grandeur. The uphill start worked to my favor and I sat in on the third wheel through the relatively wide hole-shot. With over 500 ft of elevation gain/loss per lap on continuously uneven surfaces, the course failed to do me any more favors. I latched onto, only to slip off-of, every wheel that went past me like I was riding Vint hills in reverse. After several crashes, some chain suck, generally leg suck & a fight between my internal organs for who was going to push my stomach out of my face, I appropriately finished 3rd…from last: A finely balanced book-end to the weekend and likely my final race of the year. Kudos to teammate Kensinger who powered to 3rd in the cat 1-4 45+ & WWVC's sweep of both podium top spots in the 3 and 4 race.
A biggie shout-out to the posse that came with; an ever improving Dr. Team Z-Giles and especially Alison & Rev who managed to smile at the end of their first CX race ever. It wasn't Chamonix but it was sustained. Luckily we got some pre race parking lot barrier practice beforehand.

Fort Ritchie Criterium 2010

Cat 5 & Master Cat 5: First Criterium. Why not do two. Like Walkersville, the tempo seemed a bit lackadaisical. With a fellow team mate in a three man break, the pelaton seemed willing to let Andre, Chris, James and I dictate the pace. As the laps ticked by, the pace quickened but not by much. No one wanted to work until the last lap. I pulled through the penultimate lap and was in fairly good position for the final sprint. For 4th. Except that I don't have a sprint gear. Yet. Around the final turn I looked for something stout but only found lite beer in the tank. Still having fun.

Race 2: With a lot of solo and unattached riders, nobody wanted to do any work up front. James and I (& Paul-DC Velo) took turns early but I could feel the first race munching my resolve. Around one of the turns, I let myself get squeezed into the corner by a blur of a rider in green. I collided with the hay-bales stacked up in front of the stop sign. I caromed off, but stayed upright and out of any other riders' line, taking bits of hay with me sticking out of my kit. The last few laps I just hung on as we strung out the rest of the small field. I felt my quad-gerbils and hamstring-hamsters squeaking angrily when I tried to grind around the final turn. The sprint-gear fairy blessed everyone around me and I watched elbows and heels spin past me to the finish line. Even from 10th place this is serious fun.

Tour of Walkersville road race

Masters cat 5: Jittery and the coffee didn't help. The rolling start also didn't help. Mainly because I didn't know what a rolling start was. Halfway through the first loop we were not going fast enough to get away from my gastro butterflies. Like the hiccups, I didn't even notice when the see-saw physio-mental equilibrium reset and a faux-confidence settled into the spinning rhythm. Maybe it was the crash that started when a sketchy Evo rider on a cannondale swerved past me & I heard metal on metal as dominoes fell behind me.
I went in fully expecting to get smoked & unceremoniously pushed off the back of the train. I found my self near the front most of the race and even popped off the front on the "hilly" section when I tried to pull the pelaton through the blocking ABRT team. Their rider in the 3-man break was safely away. I assumed everyone was behind me only to peek back and see a 200 yard gap. There was no way I was going solo in my first race & I let my legs revert to a soft-pedal. Twenty minutes later, I was in the front again with a mile to go. I had no idea where the finish line might be so I just pulled until the surge. At the sprint I never even got out of the saddle. I swerved around an upside down face-plant sprinter who had been jockeying for 15th and I coasted across the finish. This is definitively fun.