Tour of Page County Criterium Race Report

Team:
Nick Bradford
Mike Brindza
Andre “Gravy-Please” Gondouin
Nick “Mo-gravy” Steber
Andrew “Show-me-the-gravy” Shoaff
Dennis “Fruit-cup, hold the gravy” Turbeville
Chris “Dough-boy” Dougherty
Matt “Endo” Rosier

The circuit was definitely challenging due to the significant climb up main street coupled with the extra hot weather. The previous day’s road race also took its toll (on at least one face). The caloric grease bomb breakfast of potatos, bacon, ham & eggs topped with sausage/chipped-beef gravy that Andre, Steber & Sho-off sho-nuff wolfed down beforehand at the local diner, may have also contributed to its difficulty. Despite his dainty fruit cup, Turbo still suffered gastro issues just watching the Hawksbill Diner Gravy Train Trio at their showdown in the trough.

Re: Luray
At least one credible source has ranked the Criterium at Luray the 2nd most difficult of 18 local crits. Described as:
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Attricious : a. Having a high attrition factor b. chaff dispenser c. Any race that sheds over half its field synonym: assplosion

This…hill…will….eat…your…..soul. While it’s short, it’s steep, like 12% steep, like who-tha-f&ck-puts-a-hill-like-this-in-a-crit steep. Not only will this race shed half the field from contention, it will do so by lap two. Bring an extra diaper; you’re going to need it.
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Similar to Reston, the eight turns were wide enough to be railed sans brakes. The utter lack of any corner-carnage was due more to the winnowing of the field on each lap rather than flowing corners. Even the usual sketchy suspects didn’t create any havoc. After a couple of up-tempo hot laps, a few hopefuls gapped the field on the hill in an effort to escape. They were never out of sight for long, inevitably getting caught on the ensuing lap weaving up the hill looking the opposite of strong. Cirque Du Soleil Rosier, Dough-boy & Matt Nowak all spent time in front chasing down the overly optimistic flyers. This kept the field working to keep up and as a result, with five laps to go, we were down to seventeen in the main pack. On the penultimate lap, we were down to eleven. The final sprint felt like a slow motion affair at first and positioning was not a problem on the wide avenue leading up to the finish. Tony Barsi (WWVC) started early and held the momentum to win, dragging Nowak (Gripped Racing) along behind him. Dough-boy, Rosier and I ramped up halfway up the hill, working our way past the dying pack but couldn’t close the gap on the top four. We were still accelerating as we crossed, finishing 8th, 6th & 5th respectively. We also finished 2nd, 10th & 4th respectively in the Omnium points standings. With their upgrades soon to be pending, I have no doubt Rosier & Dough-boy will be tough contenders in the next category and I have thoroughly enjoyed racing with them this year.